You asked me to send you some more pages of dreams, thoughts and considerations… it’s not so easy. The words only flow when the tears flow from my eyes and the pain seeps from my heart. So I write to you now, sad and lost, using these words as a healing balm to soothe my deepest, darkest aches.
As I grow older I become more and more afraid. Afraid that some day I will have run out of love, have no more to give. The scars of past relationships emblazoned on my heart that I have worked so hard to heal will be all that is left.
My heart – in bloody tatters.
I worry that finally I will meet the person who is willing to be there for me, but I will have nothing to return, having previously given my love away so fervently. Is this true? Is there a limit on human love? Are there only so many times you can cut open and stitch back together a heart? A doctor no doubt would at some point give up… try to find a new heart to transplant. Such a wondrous operation is not possible in the dangerously intangible realm of emotions. Those battle scars that now I love – for they show just how much I’m willing to risk everything in order to find true love- may some day be my downfall.
Sarah Alexandra George